Deepa D. (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
deepad) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
forkedtongues2012-01-14 11:20 pm
deepad) wrote in forkedtongues2012-01-14 11:20 pm
Mora Gora Ang Layee Le by Gulzar
I'm writing a bunch of posts about books and languages and literature and so on over at my blog, and while I was talking about the film-maker and lyricist Gulzar, I tried to translate one of his earliest songs. Here's my attempt at it -
मोरा गोरा अंग लेई ले
मोहे श्याम रंग देई दे
छुप जाउंगी रात ही में
मोहे पी का संग देई दे
इक लाज रोके पैंयाँ
इक मोह खींचे बैय्यां
अब जाऊं किधर न जाऊं
मोहे का कोई बताई दे
मोरा गोरा अंग लेई ले
मोहे श्याम रंग देई दे
छुप जाउंगी रात ही में
मोहे पी का संग देई दे
बदरी हटा के चंदा
छुपके से झांके चंदा
तोहे राहू लागे बैरी
मुस्काए जी जलाई के
मोरा गोरा अंग लेई ले
मोहे श्याम रंग देई दे
छुप जाउंगी रात ही में
मोहे पी का संग देई दे
कुछ खो दिया है पाई के
कुछ पा दिया गवाई के
कहां ले चला है मनवा
मोहें बावरी बनाई के
मोरा गोरा अंग लेई ले
मोहे श्याम रंग देई दे
छुप जाउंगी रात ही में
मोहे पी का संग देई दे
-- गुल्ज़ार
Mora gora ang lai le
Mohe shyam rang dai de
Chup jaoongi raat hi mein
Mohe pee ka sang dai de
Ik lag roke paiyan
Ik moh kheenche baiyyan
Ab jaoon kidhar na jaaoon
Mohe ka koi batai de
Mora gora ang lai le
Mohe shyam rang dai de
Chup jaoongi raat hi mein
Mohe pee ka sang dai de
Badari hata ke chanda
Chupke se jhaanke chanda
Tohe rahu laage bairi
muskaye ji jalai ke
Mora gora ang lai le
Mohe shyam rang dai de
Chup jaoongi raat hi mein
Mohe pee ka sang dai de
Kuch kho diya hai pai ke
Kuch paa diya gavai ke
Kahan le chala hai manava
Mohe baavri banai ke
Mora gora ang lai le
Mohe shyam rang dai de
Chup jaoongi raat hi mein
Mohe pee ka sang dai de
-- Gulzar
Take away my body so white
and give me a skin the colour of night
So that I may hide in its dark embrace
and go to meet my heart's delight
My bashful feet still quietly stand
While lust is tugging at my hand
To go, and where (or not at all...)
Can anyone tell me to do what's right?
Take away my body so white
and give me a skin the colour of night
So that I may hide in its dark embrace
and go to meet my heart's delight
Pushing aside the clouds, the moon
silently staring down -- hey moon
may ill-wrought stars plague you
As you jealously mock my plight.
Take away my body so white
and give me a skin the colour of night
So that I may hide in its dark embrace
and go to meet my heart's delight
There's something I've lost in this taking
There's something I've earned with my breaking
I don't know where my mind is going now
mad-souled as it me has been making
-- Gulzar (Translated by Deepa D.)
The song, picturised on the incomparable Nutan, from the film Bandini:
मोरा गोरा अंग लेई ले
मोहे श्याम रंग देई दे
छुप जाउंगी रात ही में
मोहे पी का संग देई दे
इक लाज रोके पैंयाँ
इक मोह खींचे बैय्यां
अब जाऊं किधर न जाऊं
मोहे का कोई बताई दे
मोरा गोरा अंग लेई ले
मोहे श्याम रंग देई दे
छुप जाउंगी रात ही में
मोहे पी का संग देई दे
बदरी हटा के चंदा
छुपके से झांके चंदा
तोहे राहू लागे बैरी
मुस्काए जी जलाई के
मोरा गोरा अंग लेई ले
मोहे श्याम रंग देई दे
छुप जाउंगी रात ही में
मोहे पी का संग देई दे
कुछ खो दिया है पाई के
कुछ पा दिया गवाई के
कहां ले चला है मनवा
मोहें बावरी बनाई के
मोरा गोरा अंग लेई ले
मोहे श्याम रंग देई दे
छुप जाउंगी रात ही में
मोहे पी का संग देई दे
-- गुल्ज़ार
Mora gora ang lai le
Mohe shyam rang dai de
Chup jaoongi raat hi mein
Mohe pee ka sang dai de
Ik lag roke paiyan
Ik moh kheenche baiyyan
Ab jaoon kidhar na jaaoon
Mohe ka koi batai de
Mora gora ang lai le
Mohe shyam rang dai de
Chup jaoongi raat hi mein
Mohe pee ka sang dai de
Badari hata ke chanda
Chupke se jhaanke chanda
Tohe rahu laage bairi
muskaye ji jalai ke
Mora gora ang lai le
Mohe shyam rang dai de
Chup jaoongi raat hi mein
Mohe pee ka sang dai de
Kuch kho diya hai pai ke
Kuch paa diya gavai ke
Kahan le chala hai manava
Mohe baavri banai ke
Mora gora ang lai le
Mohe shyam rang dai de
Chup jaoongi raat hi mein
Mohe pee ka sang dai de
-- Gulzar
Take away my body so white
and give me a skin the colour of night
So that I may hide in its dark embrace
and go to meet my heart's delight
My bashful feet still quietly stand
While lust is tugging at my hand
To go, and where (or not at all...)
Can anyone tell me to do what's right?
Take away my body so white
and give me a skin the colour of night
So that I may hide in its dark embrace
and go to meet my heart's delight
Pushing aside the clouds, the moon
silently staring down -- hey moon
may ill-wrought stars plague you
As you jealously mock my plight.
Take away my body so white
and give me a skin the colour of night
So that I may hide in its dark embrace
and go to meet my heart's delight
There's something I've lost in this taking
There's something I've earned with my breaking
I don't know where my mind is going now
mad-souled as it me has been making
-- Gulzar (Translated by Deepa D.)
The song, picturised on the incomparable Nutan, from the film Bandini:
no subject
no subject
partial critique
like,
"Take away my body so white
and give me a skin the colour of night
So that I may hide in its dark embrace
and go to meet my heart's delight"
skin should be 'dark', not color of night - imho
shaam imho means dark - night sounds more like literally black
and i might even argue the referential connotation is more krishna than the night
and don't forget shaam means evening, not night, literally, anyway :D
also, dunno which way u meant it, but the third line to me reads grammatically like the "its" refers to the skin
rather than the night
"I don't know where my mind is going now
mad-souled as it me has been making"
i say this should be approximately:
i don't know my mind me is taking
after me, mad-souled it be making
i'd argue that the last para has spiritual connotations that you screwed up
the mind taking me godknowswhere
points to hte mind being an illusion and misleading us in life
whereas "I don't know where my mind is going now" sounds like i think i'm going mad
Re: partial critique
Translation is HARD! :)
more
and go to meet my heart's delight"
quibble, but - pee ka sang dai de is much more passive and prayer-ful (plea-ful?) than your line.
"My bashful feet still quietly stand
While lust is tugging at my hand"
bashful feet for laaj roke is fine, pretty much. but changing 'moh' to lust feels very wrong. moh is more desire, attachment - you could take poetic license to the extent of 'hunger' maybe - but lust is very sexual, dunno if appropriate.
"There's something I've earned with my breaking"
gavaa dena is not breaking. it's losing something with slightly different connotations - connotations of having wasted it, or rather, having let it go to waste rather than using it well.
Re: more
And I think you're wrong about the gavaa dena interpretation. Its not gavaa dena; its gavai ke. I think Gulzar means it as surrender. The colloquialism of 'gavai' is different, and also, I think he chose it for the rhyme. :)
no subject
(Anonymous) 2016-11-19 02:49 pm (UTC)(link)